Apricus - Meta-Discussion of my Emotions and Diagnosing My Difficulty Engaging with FI Long-term

[Elliot]

@Apricus

Goal: Write out details on why I think I’ve taken two long breaks from FI and my emotional problems and irrationalities when dealing with the FI community. Discuss how I can take steps to be better and avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Implement these steps as small, achievable projects and make the steps smaller or bigger based on how sustainable they are. Start as small as I can where I can follow through and see progress and success.

You may want to do some skill building before trying to work on emotional problems. E.g. practicing various kinds of trees or practice activities from the Max tutoring.

@Apricus

I don’t have access to the Discord logs

The inactive Fallible Ideas discord server still exists with searchable archives. Here’s an invite code that’ll expire in a week: DXZxy6Pp

@Apricus

For example, I got obsessed with Jonathan Stark’s ideas for a good while (Like 2+ months), but it would have been far better for me if I had gotten obsessed with Eli Goldratt’s ideas for that time period instead.

FYI I unsubscribed from Stark’s emails, partly because they got repetitive, and partly because I emailed with Stark briefly a few times and he was quite irrational.

@Apricus

A friend also told me that I might be autistic like he is, and that made me curious. He said he was diagnosed around my age

Official mental health diagnoses come with serious, permanent consequences and involve significant dangers, and you can basically never erase them, be undiagnosed, or change your mind. They go into official records where other people in the future can see them even if you don’t want those people to. They can make you ineligible for things and get you discriminated against. Although diagnoses provide some benefits (with strings attached), they don’t exist for your benefit, and are not designed as tools to help you.

@Apricus

follow through on my impulses a bit more

Impulses are a type of intuition.

• Don’t Suppress Your Intuition
• Intuition and Rationality
• Intuition and Rational Debate
• Intuition Is Part of Rational Living
• Conscious and Subconscious Ideas

@Apricus

I remember in the FI Discord curi wrote something like (and I wish I had the logs saved so I could avoid misquoting him, I apologize if I mess up the context or the wording, I hope I get the general idea right, just treat this as a paraphrase):

99% of people over age 25 who are not already honest will not ever choose to become honest.

And that terrified me because I was like 24 at the time, and I thought to myself, “Oh shit, I have less than a year to become honest, otherwise I’m screwed forever.”

That sounds like something I could have said. But the numbers are just loose approximations. Treating it as a precise deadline doesn’t make sense.