Hmm. I think I’m doing ok/mediocre. I think having issues with time management, energy, and busyness have made it harder to perform as well as I wanted to. I think I haven’t always communicated frustrations I’m having over certain assignments that well. hmm. yeah I think the only thing directly related to tutoring here I would want to share is that I feel I don’t communicate that well sometimes. I do think I also need to better prioritize philosophy.
Lets see over this past year I did:
Trees. Tried to book trees with scenes. Set up a RSS client. Did math word problems. Worked on logic and logic gates and stuff. Worked on English grammar. Hmm, In terms of the big stuff I think thats it. I may go into detail at some point just to test myself how well I remember some of the stuff.
We can do something else besides coding if you want. If there’s something you’d be excited about and work on more energetically, that could work better. If you don’t know that something else would work better, then there’s less reason to switch.
This stuff is hard for me to help with, and out of scope of tutoring, but I can comment some.
Why do you think you want to do stuff you keep doing less than you planned to? Journal about this. I’m not trying to imply any specific conclusion, just that there’s enough of a concern to think it over.
Why don’t you communicate more about frustrations? I know some typical reasons people do that. They may be shy about communicating anything. They may not want to be complainers. They may have frustrations about everything, so they don’t see how to get away from frustration; just switching activities won’t fix it, so they think there’s no point to complaining.
You also did a lot of writing, both as forum posts and as your private writes.
Sure. One thing to share here that I’ve noticed is: I get easily caught up in stuff. What can happen many times is that I will want to do tutoring stuff on a day, but then I want to play a game for a bit and end up playing it too long (or watch a show, read a book, read manga, etc.). However, the same thing happens the other way too. There are times where I’ll start on tutoring in the morning and it takes most of my time for that day. Doing that with tutoring is rarer, but I think I do that in part because I want to leave myself time to do other things like playing games. So my logic goes: play games first and then use up the rest of your day doing tutoring. What ends up realistically happening is the first thing of the day just takes up my time.
I’ll journal on that and share but here’s one reason I thought of. Depending on how I feel that day, if I got good sleep, ate well, didn’t eat anything too heavy, haven’t had/heard any arguments in the house can affect how I get frustrated that day. I have, at times, wanted to practice doing addition really fast. Very simple addition like 22+91. When I first started practicing some days, because of how I felt, I would get frustrated at the problems.
I guess a good amount of my frustrations seem outside of the scope of tutoring that I don’t share them and I think sometimes I have a hard time differentiating if I’m frustrated with an assignment versus if its just cause how I feel that day. I don’t want to share that I’m frustrated (implying that I’m having issues, though I don’t know how exactly you’re thinking of me when I say I’m frustrated) over an assignment when, to me, the only reason I’m frustrated at this problem is because I didn’t sleep well and my mom yelled at me over something (which makes it harder to do, sure), not because I’m particularly struggling with the problem. Though I guess I should be better able to work when tired/getting yelled at/etc.
Have you tried using timers/alarms? Like taking a 5 minute break every hour and during the break you consider what activities to do during the next hour, or there are many other ways to do the timers. If you haven’t ever tried that kind of thing, then try it. If you have tried it before unsuccessfully, then consider what went wrong with it and spend at least 15 minutes trying to think of a solution/change you think would make it work.
That makes sense.
It sounds like you need multiple different philosophy projects at once. At least one easier one to work on on bad days and one harder one to work on on good days.
But you’ve had some options that I’m guessing are easier like posting about games (Baba is You, Toki Tori, Let’s! Revolution!, I’d be happy to talk about many others) or Japanese. I don’t know why you stop posting about things like that or don’t use it on days when coding sounds too hard. There are other things that I don’t know how easy or hard they are for you, like writing about politics, economics or law in connection with some link you find online or find in the forum archives.
I’ve tried timers to take breaks, but not to consider if I want to do something else during my timed break. I can try that for a bit and see how it goes. Maybe using that break to consider if I want to keep playing games or do something else may help?
If it seems like I stopped posting I probably just forgot about it in a wave of busyness.
If we’re talking about very slow/infrequent posts on those easier topics. Outside of busyness, I think I still fall into a trap of having stuff worth saying and even if those topics are easier. I have lots of thoughts on the game that I could share when I’m having a not so great day, but I feel like I have to write it in a good enough manner. That wanting to write it in a good enough manner blocks me.
You can also flag certain posts in Vienna and then sort by that. I think I may like this more than discoure’s bookmarking, but it could be just cause its a shiny new toy. We’ll see.
I wonder if there’s a way to differently color flag stuff to organize more, but maybe that’s doing too much. Anyways I’ll see how it goes the next few days. @LMD you may be interested in trying to use Vienna too?
I think there’s an important problem there. That sounds like perfectionism because you’re blocking yourself from doing things because you want them to be even better and to meet standards that are too high for you to consistently meet.
Writing imperfectly is practice. If you do it a lot you’ll get better. And you’ll get feedback sometimes, both on the writing itself and on the topics you write about.
I think you should try to unpack and explore this negative feeling about your writing that blocks a lot of your potential writing. Do you have explicit ideas about why you think this? Do you explicitly think you’re right?
Hmm. Here’s something related to the whole perfectionism thing:
I don’t think its that or just that.
One issue that has prevented me from posting is me not getting all my information straight or me feeling wrong/weird about keeping giving more information.
I think there are a number of times when I don’t post because I don’t have the energy to fully explain my thoughts in a way I’m fine with. I guess it’s similar to me saying “I have to write it in a good enough manner” but a bit different.
I think this post itself, and the previous one, is an example of that.
Sometimes I feel weird/unprofessional(?) if I keep changing/adding information to an original post.
Like I can sometimes be wrong about why I think something such as why I don’t post but then updating that information can be confusing. Or explaining why I wrote the wrong thing originally.
It’s when you want things to be perfect. Perfect meaning no mistakes, no flaws, no issues, etc.
If someone is a perfectionist and, let’s say, they’re making a video. They might get caught up in trying to get what they consider is the perfect angle for the video shot, the perfect lens and stuff for the camera, and whatever else goes into shooting a video. That’s just shooting the video part. Then theres a lot of stuff in editing too. etc. In all things they need things to be “perfect” whatever that is.
In the thread Japanese. I have stuff that I could post now. I told @ActiveMind that I would share my sentence mining set-up (related to making language flashcards) and I will soon. The reason I don’t now is because the chances I’ve had to do it I have been tired. Now there’s no real knowledge issue. I know all the stuff but I don’t feel like, atm. writing out a good amount of detail sharing it and I feel like the level of detail I would share atm is bad. I don’t think it needs to be amazing (I don’t think the other stuff I posted in Japanese has been “amazing”) but just good enough.
Mmm. I guess they could be a type of perfectionism? Perfectionism seems, to me, something that you can’t meet, but I guess having very high standards/unrealistic goals would fall in that.
Hmm. Yeah. I think I have the thought that being perfect is impossible, but then I remembered that most consider there unrealistic goals/high standards as “perfect”. So yeah I guess high standards is a type of perfectionism.
As of right now I’m just going off of the name and just anecdotal memories of people who have called themselves perfectionists.
I haven’t looked up anything. I can. I just kinda go off the assumption to initially answer questions and other assignments without looking up unless you say to look it up.
OK it sounds like you’re not very familiar with it. But you said you didn’t think your issue is perfectionism. I think you should learn more about it before deciding it’s not your issue.
I recently watched a video about setting up my Obsidian notes app.
I’ve been using it for a while and really haven’t taken advantage of any features.
I bring this up because at the beginning of the video I watched the guy talked about how he got caught in a trap of trying to make his note taking system perfect and all that. He kept watching more and more videos and getting more and more add-ons to perfect his note taking experience. He said he was stuck in a toxic perfectionist kind of mindset. That made me remember how I did stuff like that before too.
There was a time period where I wanted to get my note taking system perfect. It got really overwhelming so I just picked an app and told myself we’ll work on perfecting it later.
Now I remember though that I have had some perfectionist tendencies before in the past and still (probably) do.
When I first discovered scheduling (though I stopped a while back, not for any particularly good reason, it was just overwhelming) I did it in a simple enough manner. I wrote down what I would day at different time intervals throughout the day and did exactly what I said at those times. After a while I stopped because I disliked how strict it felt to me. I then, long story short, started reading a lot of books on time management, watching youtube videos, etc. but I never really put stuff into action.
I guess this would be a related mindset? I don’t think I aim to do things “perfectly” but I do try to do things correctly on the first go. I think, in the past not as much nowadays, I felt dumb doing things wrong. Probably cause I got made fun of at some points growing up.
A podcast I listen to shared a story about a kid committing a crime. Apparently the kid thought the crime they committed, a hit and run, wasn’t that serious and was surprised by his arrest.
The podcasters commented on the kids surprise. They said stuff along the lines of, “Older people complain that kids have it to easy nowadays, but maybe they’re right if stuff like this happens”. Mmm. I don’t know. I don’t know to comment on general parenting trends but a thought that came to mind is like stereotypical rich kids in media.
Media portrays stereotypical upper class children (and adults too) as being surpirsed when being held accountable. Probably due to their wealth they’re used to being able to avoid being punsihed for certain bad actions and so they never take it seriously.
I feel like this is a common enough stereotype (I don’t know the truth of it though, have a few kinda rich friends and their ok I think). Maybe the kid was rich and was surprised that the parents couldn’t/wouldn’t help him out on this one.
What I wanted to comment on was that I thought it was kinda odd that the focus went on blaming the youth and modern parenting and not other reasons why the kid was like that.
The story comes off as pretty ambiguous to me because I’m confident that most kids (teens, I assume) today do know that a hit and run is an important crime that police may genuinely care about. This particular thing isn’t a widespread pattern of educational neglect or disobedient children. There must be specific details (that I don’t know) that help explain why this kid has an unusual trait.
