Gaslighting discussion (split from: Justin’s Miscellaneous Posts)

Yeah I agree there’s an inconsistency in my ideas there.


I think if you said something like “I think this post has problems and isn’t a good place to focus my attention in the discussion at the moment”, I would not be provoked by that. It would be unreasonable of me to get upset at you choosing how to engage in the discussion and what to focus on. I could try something like bookmarking my post and following up on it after a while if I think it is important. Silence on a post that was asking for a reply is kind of awkward because I don’t really know what’s going on and have to imagine/guess, but if it’s just an issue of you prioritizing what to reply to and letting me know that that is what is happening, then that seems fine to me.

Yeah, I agree my annoyance was inappropriate in that context. It is not even the sort of thing I would have brought up previously (for reasons previously mentioned).

I would have preferred that to no reply FWIW.

Yes I do. That’s part of the reason I wouldn’t previously even have raised this annoyance issue but instead just tried to ignore it and carry on the discussion anyways - cuz I’d judge this sort of annoyance as my responsibility to bear (and not serious enough to derail the conversation).

I think there is a huge disagreement here about what I was asking and that seems worth discussing a bit. Let me use an analogy to try to clarify how I am thinking about things. Suppose making a discussion tree is like writing a short school paper. A request to teach me how to use discussion trees would be analogous to a request to teach me how to write such a paper. In an earlier post, I asked if a range of posts would be suitable for a tree. This, to me, is analogous to asking if something would be a suitable topic for a paper. And then in the post I was annoyed about, I made what seems to me to be an even more modest request: I asked if proposing a potential subject matter for a discussion tree and getting feedback would be a reasonable plan. So this would be analogous to asking if proposing a paper topic and getting feedback as to my proposed topic was a reasonable plan. That seems very different than a request to teach me how to use discussion trees. (I might be wrong about all this - I am just trying to explain my POV. I did not think I was making a big request, but an intentionally modest one geared towards trying to help me participate in the conversation more effectively given some concerns I had).