I thought that I didn’t have that misconception, like I thought I understood that when you have a coercive conflict, you need to resolve it, not pick a side. But I do actually have the attitude towards my actual conflicts that I should err on the side of avoiding activities I’m conflicted about. But yeah I can see that that is picking a side. Like you said in this reply, It’s trying to use a rule of thumb for how to pick the winner.
And the same is true with doing as of avoiding the activity, right?
It’s funny because I think I would feel better about myself in hindsight if I was using willpower to get started on things I was coercively conflicted about rather than just avoiding things I’m conflicted about. But avoiding things I’m conflicted about in general seems easier than using willpower and doing the thing i’m conflicted about (?)
So things I’m coercively conflicted about need to be turned into different activities to do with problem solving about the conflicts. Doing otherwise would be picking sides.
Another thing contributing to this attitude is feeling like I just don’t know what to do to problem solve a conflict well, like that while I understand that I should do some problem solving, I feel like i don’t know what to do or something. So I just do something else.