Yeah that’s the gist. Unintentional negs matter too and for flirting it’s important to get your social signals and behaviors under control. Recipients generally can’t tell whether negs are intentional or not, which is part of the design. And if a neg is unintentional, that doesn’t make it better. Being disrespected by someone’s autopilot is kinda worse than being disrespected on purpose – it’s more condescending if you didn’t even have the conscious attention of the person negging you.
There are two different types of unintentional. One is a total accident. Both your conscious and subconscious missed a particular ambiguity. The other type is you didn’t consciously intend something but your subconscious did it on purpose. Your subconscious is over half of your mind, of what you are mentally. It’s you. Whatever opinions it holds are your opinions. So you’re responsible for it. If your subconscious attacks someone, then you attacked them.
I think you do a lot of things that way – it wasn’t a total accident, there was knowledge in you that caused it, but it wasn’t your conscious intent either. So going back and saying you didn’t consciously intend things as negs doesn’t really matter. It’s not the point. If some things were just a total accidental blunder that would matter, and maybe a couple were accidents, but I don’t think most were. One doesn’t get patterns of behavior by random accident.
Make sense? If so maybe the next thing to do is examine a few things you said.