One thing to consider might be that you are not obligated to accept any particular worldview wholesale. Changing your mind about trans people on Trans Topic A does not have to result in a change in your feelings about Trans Topic B.
It is possible e.g. to be less transphobic, to not reduce people to gametes, to be willing to respect peoples’ preferences for identification… but still have reservations about trans women competing in professional women’s sports, or about trans women being housed with cis women in prison.
That is an option! Some people might still get mad and say you are transphobic. They might be right. Or wrong. But you do not have to define yourself by either the anti-trans/gender-critical movement or the pro-trans movements. Rejecting anti-trans bigotry (which is rampant in most gender critical spaces) does not mean you have to embrace “trans ideology”.
In general, particularly for the most contentious issues such as gendered sports, you can also just reserve judgment. One reason the most contentious issues come up a lot is that they are weaponized to push people in particular directions. In general, the modern conservative movement has been heavily motivated to push the most extreme trans perspectives into the public consciousness because these issues trigger revulsion responses in a lot of "people. Trans people have been an effective boogeyman to motivate conservatives and lots of conservative leaning centrists.
If you care to investigate it yourself (I am not recommending this, only do it if you genuinely want to) and talk to lots of different trans people from varied backgrounds, you may find there are different perspectives on these issues even in trans communities. Many trans people do not have strong feelings about the more contentious issues, or may even have less PC views of those issues. Not every trans person is a radical agent for a postmodern trans ideology.