They’re short; I’ll assume you watched them.
The creator also gave more context in a comment:
This was at a Christmas party and they all told me he wasn’t going to be there and I wouldn’t see him. I didn’t go to Christmas this year
From the comments:
It always gotta be the abused person accommodating the family and never the family accommodating (and supporting) the abused🥴
this is the perfect video to describe my situation atm, older brother S/A me as a kid (he’s 10 years older than me–he knew better) and my mom asking why i can’t forgive him
SA = sexual assault
@stephkosteckicooper：And that’s why I refuse to go, because we all know the toxic family member will ALWAYS show up. The family will ALWAYS side with them🥺
Lol then the guilt trips start ab how ur tearing the family apart
ab = about
ur = you’re
fr my little brother & I haven’t gone to our last 2 family events because we are both so uncomfortable around our older brother and my mom ignores it.
fr = for real
meeee!!! put hands on for the LAST time. my mom wants me to get over it without even an apology on his side.
I go through this every day with my father and I’m the “bitch” cuz I can’t “let things go” don’t force yourself! It’s your trauma!!
bestie if my brother walked in on christmas this year it would’ve been on sight fr
bestie = friendly way to address a stranger, pretending (with no intent to fool anyone) like they’re your best friend. here, bestie refers to the video creator who the comment is replying to
on sight = would physically fight them, with no warning or discussion, if they come within sight of you
Why I won’t tell my family that my cousin SA’d me. Ik they won’t cut him out.
ik = i know
My family with the cousin who SA’d me
I have one of these. Apparently waiting for an apology is too much to ask because “I should get over it”
Wow and I thought it was just me. Everyone is so willing to overlook the problems he caused but I see right through the act
Not picking sides IS picking a side. I will never understand some people
In other contexts, people get mad at Ayn Rand for saying that.
If the family cared they can and will do something about it. My parents banned him from holidays and have defended me tooth and nail
my grandmas exact words were “i believe he did it, but i forgive him”. cut that family out. i promise it’s better without them
The creator responded to that one with:
They all say they don’t want to pick sides but they already proved they have
"I’m not choosing sides: = “I’m siding with the abuser”
My mom trying to get me to talk to brother on Christmas. “I didn’t know that you weren’t speaking.” No, you know. It’s been like 4 years lol
The creator replied:
I’m so sorry but it’s even worse when they act like they didn’t know
There are lots more comments saying stuff like “same” or how they relate to this video.
It’s disturbing both how common SA is and how badly other people react to those situations. It’s important information about what society is like that I think many people do not have integrated into their worldview.
My friend explained to me that the social dynamics work this way:
If you victimize one person in your social group, but don’t bother the whole group, then people try to ignore it. If the victim tries to bring it to the attention of the group, they are blamed for harming group harmony.
My friend also explained something similar: sometimes there’s one person in a group who is toxic and everyone dislikes it but tries to ignore it. If you call out some bad behavior, you get blamed for any public fighting that happens.
Dynamics like these are part of why people learn to be passive aggressive or otherwise try to avoid open conflict and learn to take part in covert ways of fighting.
There are parallels with the David Deutsch harassment. Lots of people are unsympathetic to me, the abuse victim, when they see me as trying to bring the issue to wider attention and disrupt group harmony and potentially damage his reputation by speaking out. They want me to just drop it and suffer in silence. I’ve received negative reactions for not dropping it (even though the abusive actions are ongoing right now and disrupting my life on a daily basis), and I’ve received little support or help even from fans.
SA is worse than my situation but some of the social dynamics are similar. And seeing responses to SA helps me understand the responses I get. I found it hard to understand how people were being so awful about my abuse. But tons of people react in bad ways like these for more severe cases. I’ve also seen grossly inadequate reactions, including from the police and courts, to much worse cases of stalking than has happened to me (many women get no help when stalked IRL plus death threatened, whereas I’ve only been stalked online and I haven’t received a death threat).
I grew up in the California Bay Area around lefty progressive social values and, in short, I thought people actually meant them. I took them seriously. Behavior like this is pretty unthinkable to me. I’m now convinced that it’s just lip service for a lot of people.