I had some more thoughts.
FYI regarding dating app dynamics. I think the self-reported experiences of women (‘bar on the floor’) are compatible with them largely dating a small group of men who have way too many options.
Here’s a video about simulating dating apps from data (compatible with hypergamy and hints at how it arises naturally out of the dynamics)
Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps - Memeable Data (2023-07-13)
Some data from swipestats.io (also compatible with hypergamous behavior from women)
- (Reddit Post) [OC] Despite being far more selective, women still match more frequently than men on Tinder
- (Blog Post) Why Do Women Have the Upper Hand on Tinder? (2021) (It has the same data in a different graph, and more graphs)
Maybe, but I don’t think they’re getting it (except the top percentiles).
It doesn’t make any sense for regular men to use dating apps for validation because the opposite will happen.
Women largely might be lying to themselves about what they’re selecting. Especially if they see an over supply of men on dating apps and preselect via attractiveness or visible wealth/status whatever in photos. I think it’s somewhat naive to expect people to fully understand what’s going on in their head, too, or admit to doing something they disapprove of.
There can also be survivorship bias in that women who are better partners are more likely to find relationships, and less likely to complain about men online. So maybe you’re right about the women you know but also a lot of women have bad ideas about dating and aren’t honest about their behavior.
This can also lead to a ‘purification’ type process where impurities (people good at relationships) are quickly removed from the dating pool, which then becomes concentrated with people bad at relationships, or burnt out, or whatever.
You seem to have a high regard for women by default and a low regard for men. I have to wonder if you’re a bit biased. Why not a low regard for both? Why do you think that women aren’t contributing to the problem?