r/4bmovement: “My boyfriend/husband cheated on me 23 times but says it’s my fault. Should I dump him?”
The OP is mocking women who ask questions like the one in the title. Complex_Hope_8789 responded:
You underestimate how powerful gaslighting is and how badly it can wreck your judgement. Everyone thinks they’d never fall for abuse until you suddenly wake up and realize you’re years deep into it.
You’re especially not understanding that most times it’s not just the abuser gaslighting. It’s everyone else around you too. - are you sure? - marriage is work - but he’s such a nice guy - he’s trying.
Not to mention if there is a church or other “trusted” men and women in your life telling you that his behaviour is normal, you have to be the bigger person, you have to forgive, you have to get over it.
It’s not just the abuser making you doubt yourself. It’s also often everyone around you.