hello. i am new to the forum. my name is adam
questions i want to answer: why am I here? how did I find this place? why join the forum now? what is my current situation/who am I? what are my current goals? what are my long-term goals?
why am I here?
i am here because i want to apply CF philosophy and thinking to help solve my problems and make my life better. i am here because Elliot makes sense and is right about stuff. i am here because this community cares about his ideas and standards.
how did I find this place?
i read David Deutsch’s books. i liked them and i was interested in David’s views about stuff. i searched “Deutsch Ayn Rand” (or something like that) on YT (IIRC, i saw people attack Rand in non-rational ways and wanted to see what David thought) and found this video. i liked Elliot’s content and found his blog and the critical fallibilism site. i found the forum and have been a witness for a few months
why join the forum now?
while being a witness of the forum, i have been scared to join. i have been anticipating ways that i’d be pressured into doing things, and anticipating seeming irrational if i didn’t do them. i didn’t want to seem irrational.
my issues about not wanting to seem irrational remain. but the reason that i have joined now is that i am ready to change my life a bit (more on that later).
what’s my current situation/who am I?
- i’ve been doing a maths undergrad degree in the UK. i finished my second year
- i am 21
- i’ve had a hobbied interest in philosophy for a few years
- i taught myself (some) programming last summer so that i can get a job after leaving my degree
- i’ve been living off money from my dad
- i do not have any significant achievements and I’m not very impressive. I want to learn to be better
- i do not really have any friends
- i am about 60% of the way through Atlas Shrugged and Eli Goldratt’s The Goal but i stopped reading them
- i am on book 4 of the “A Song of Ice and Fire” series but i stopped reading them
- i am reading the Harry Potter series on book 4 (HP is more appropriate to my skill level/helps me automate reading comprehension)
- i like breaking bad and better call saul. i think they are good shows
- i started a blog recently. there aren’t many posts on it. i wanted to hide it, but i’m not going to. i wanted to hide it because i was scared of my blogs looking stupid, and also my code for the blog is trash. i can post a link to the blog if requested (it would not be promotional, i don’t run ads or get financial gain or something), but i’m not sure if it’s appropriate
what are my current goals?
i am trying to figure that out. i picked a big row with my family today. like i said, i’ve been living off my dad’s money. that means that i’ve been letting him control me in certain ways. e.g. i have to go to things he wants me to, have to pretend to like/get along with things/people he wants me to. but today i have advanced some of my disapproval/disagreements about stuff, and implied that i’m gonna figure out how to go my own way (not depending on dad’s money).
my basic idea is to get away from the house; then find an easy, low-pay job; then
live honestly, work on my own projects, spend my money how I want, etc.
but, the details are pending. right now, there are important questions like:
- what should i do about my degree? is it in my interest to persist with it? if i did persist with it, i would have to work part time as well, could i manage that? (i don’t know, i suspect it would be overreaching due to fatigue issues, and my own lack of skill.)
- related is what should i do about my summer internship? it starts in July. it’s a software thing for a big cooperation. but they are late sending out my contract so i still have a decision to make (i am not legally committed to it). (it’s related because they want me to continue my degree if i intern with them (i imagine the contract will include this somehow? i could be wrong).)
- also related is what should i do about the accomodation i’ve signed for in the next academic year? i am liable for the rent unless i find a replacement tenant. i am confident that i can do this if i start making decisions now, but delaying increases risk.
- where would i go? i am thinking in the uk. i can’t go through the rigmarole of changing citizenship – or could i? and if i could, how would that serve me?
- when i find where i want to go, how can i be confident that i will get a job there?
- what are the exact logistics of moving and settling in? i have about £900 in my bank account? how can i be sure that i won’t spend it all? should i ask my dad for some money to land on my feet? should i request a loan?
so, my top-priority current goals are to answer the above questions.
what are my long-term goals?
for completeness, the global frame is that i want
- to be powerful like a superhero
- to be independent and have no one to answer to
- to understand everything i do
- to live forever
edit: “I have about £900 in my bank account?” is not supposed to be a question
edit 2: that was a misquote. it’s “i have about £900 in my bank account?”. can someone tell me how to use the ‘select, then click quote’ option in an edit to my post?